I’m not big on complaining…especially when I know how good I have it. I have an amazing family, a hard-working and super-romantic husband, two beautiful, happy, and healthy daughters, and the list goes on…I have a great life.
But today, I feel like changing things up, letting my guard down, and complaining a bit. Out loud. For the whole world to hear (not just Travis who has the pleasure of listening to me complain because that’s part of his duties as the husband).
Today, I feel like writing about all the things that are currently driving me absolutely nuts about living in a shrinking apartment.
And while the square footage might not be changing, everything else is.
(and yes, you’ll soon find that I blame almost everything on the fact that we live in a two bedroom apartment. I’m sure we’d have many of these challenges no matter where we lived, but it’s so much easier for me to blame them on something that’s already been driving me nuts for quite some time)
So…where do I begin?
I am exhausted. Let’s start there.
I have not had one full night of sleep in over 9 months. 9 months, you ask? Yes, 9 months. While our littlest love is only 6 months old, I suffer from the inability to sleep during the last trimester of my pregnancies so even though Abigail was sleeping well, I wasn’t.
Now it’s not my mind that’s keeping me up, it’s our daughter who prefers playing over sleeping. Who seems to need less sleep than Mommy and Daddy. Who must think it’s fun to wake up every two hours at night.
It’s our daughter who literally defies every book you ever read on how to sleep train your baby. Let them cry? Oh, we’ve done it. And guess who NEVER. STOPS. CRYING…
Shockingly enough, it’s this happy little baby ::
You would never know she barely sleeps at night. Her demeanor is incredible during the day. She’s happy, engaged, and curious…everything you want your 6 month old to be. She just happens to be a terrible sleeper.
And while I can’t blame her bad sleep habits directly on the fact that we live in a two bedroom apartment, I can say that many of our decisions (and therefore, our problems) have been based on the fact that we live in a two bedroom apartment.
Some examples include (and please forgive me for rambling and digressing) ::
- she naps in a swing…still…yes (gasp!), she does :: it’s the only place I’m certain she’ll get the rest she needs
- she also naps in a swing because she screams when I put her in her crib and I don’t want her to wake Abby up (which, by the way, the books say won’t happen…but trust me, it does)
- she’s also swaddled while she naps in a swing at 6 months old
- because she naps in a swing (swaddled), it’s made the transition into her crib even harder
- she has spent weeks and weeks sleeping in the kitchen in a pack’n’play because we wanted her out of our room but not in Abby’s room
- when we transferred her into Abby’s room, there were a few decent nights of sleep but for the most part, Abby woke Mac up and vice versa – Travis and I were both up taking care of the girls in the middle of the night
- last night we made the decision (after her 3rd waking before 10pm) to send her back to the kitchen
- when she sleeps in the kitchen, we can’t access it past 6:30pm
- Travis typically doesn’t even get home before 6:30pm, meaning dinner has to be prepared early and has to be consumed in the living room (which is not ideal for at least 10 reasons)
- this also means that the dishes can’t get done before bed so one of us is up in the morning cleaning up the kitchen (while trying to get ready, feed the girls, etc)
- etc, etc etc…we literally have no clue what to do and we feel like we’ve tried everything
Clearly, sleeping is a problem. I keep daydreaming about having a house with more than two bedrooms where each girl gets her own room and we could let Mac scream until the cows come home without waking Abby up.
I know we aren’t the first parents to have two little kids in a two bedroom place, but I just feel like we’re failing in every possible way when it comes to sleeping. We’re reinforcing bad habits. We’re doing all the things we’ve read you shouldn’t do.
Honestly, we’re just trying to survive right now. We do what we have to to get at least a little sleep. And in the mornings and at night, I pack on the eye cream and hope that I won’t look half as tired as I’m feeling.
We know it won’t last forever, but it’s hard to see past each terrible night of sleep at this point. I’m just hoping that we’re able to get some useful advice from Mac’s pediatrician at her 6 month appointment this afternoon.
Beyond the lack of sleep, here are some of the other things that drive me nuts about our shrinking apartment ::
- each room is piled high with crap…I mean, toys…but at this point it all looks like a bunch of messy crap to me…no matter how hard we try to clean and straighten, it’s always a mess
- we continue to accumulate more and more stuff and we literally have nowhere to put it :: we don’t have storage (well, we do have one storage unit but it’s completely full), we don’t have extra closet space, we don’t have space for anything
- we don’t even have enough drawer space (not to mention closet space) to accommodate the girl’s clothes
- Travis’ closet is in the girl’s room so if he has to leave early for a meeting (and forgot to grab clothes the night before), he has to wake Abby up in order to get dressed for work
- in order to go anywhere, I have to lug the girls (and all the stuff that goes along with them) up and down two and a half flights of stairs
- once we’re downstairs, in order to get the car out of our spot (on the bright side, at least we have a parking spot), I have to put Mac in, let Abby sit in the passenger seat next to me because I can only access one side of the car in our garage, back up 20 feet, get out of the car, move Abby from the passenger seat to her car seat, back the car up again, get out of the car, open a gate, get back in the car, back up again, get out of the car again, and close the gate…it literally takes 10 minutes to get away from our apartment building once we’ve walked out the back door (and I’m SPEEDY…so I’m sure it would take an average person 15 minutes or more)
- one bathroom…four people…enough said
- we have no yard and no outdoor space so in order for us to enjoy the sunshine (or in our case in San Francisco, the fog), we all have to get fully ready, packed up, and then proceed to do a similar routine as above but this time with the stroller instead of the car
- etc, etc, etc…
I suppose you could say I’m not just exhausted because we have a bad sleeper. I’m exhausted because every little task that should be relatively easy during the day is exponentially more difficult because we live in an apartment in a big city.
As you all know, there are a ton of reasons why I love living here as well, but today I’m just trying to keep it real and vent and be completely honest about the things that I’m/we’re struggling with right now.
I’m sure we’re not the only ones going through this…
PS – I promise my posts will be back to normal tomorrow…but I must say, it felt good to get this all out there!