It Takes a Village

I firmly believe it takes a village to raise children.

That’s why I’m sad to say our village’s population just decreased dramatically.

It’s hard for me to write this post without getting emotional. It’s hard for me to write it without feeling like I’m going to make other people sad (namely, my parents…Kiki & Gappy). But I feel like I need to write it because I’ve been in denial for a couple months now.

I haven’t written about it on my blog at all.  It’s hard for me to write about. It’s hard for me to even think about.

My parents, who we welcomed to San Francisco a little over a year ago, are currently on a cross country journey back to Atlanta where they’ll be settling down and staying indefinitely.  There will be frequent visits (our first trip already planned for May, when my brother will be graduating from business school and my sister-in-law is due with Baby Girl), but things will definitely be different.

I feel like I’m still in denial though.

I keep thinking they’re just going on a little vacation. They’ll be back.

Later this week I’ll be able to load Abby up in the car and we’ll drive 18 minutes across the City to visit Belle, play with Kiki & Gappy, and do some laundry.  🙂

But that’s not reality.

Reality is that we had Pizza Orgasmica with them on Friday night.  We lent them our air mattress and some bedding because their home was already packed and empty. And Saturday morning was our farewell breakfast at the Cliff House.

I even walked into their house and saw it empty.  Just as empty as when we first toured the house in February of 2011.  I heard the echos. The echos confirming their impending departure.

And then we drove back to our apartment and went about our Saturday pretending as if everything was normal.

I suppose this is just our new normal.  It’s going to take time to adjust (and I can’t help but remember how difficult it was when Christopher & Malinda moved cross country after living 6 blocks away from us on the same street in San Francisco).  But we’ll adjust.

We won’t seem them every few days.  We’ll see them every couple months.  We’ll Skype all the time so Abby will be exposed regularly to their faces and voices (and Mom, I promise she’ll greet you with the same excitement as always when we see you in May).  We’ll talk on the phone regularly. We’ll exchange pictures like it’s our job. We’ll make it work.

We’ll even find new babysitters. haha, I have to throw a little humor in here…

Mom and Dad, I’m not writing this to make you sad (or more sad than we’re already feeling). I’m writing this as a confirmation that we’ll all be okay and that it’s just going to take some time to adjust. And I’m writing this because we all love you SO much and we know how important you are to Abby.  None of that will change.

All that will really change is our village’s definition.  We may not be as physically close as we’ve been, but that will have no correlation to how close we’ll remain.

We love you guys. We miss you already. And you better travel safely across the country!



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10 Responses

  1. Lauren says:

    Ali, as always, I love reading your posts 🙂 This situation is similar to ours. Having family move is so hard. We will just have to have monthly hang outs with the kids!

    • 7x7xMommy says:

      Thanks Lauren 🙂 And I agree…we’ll just need to make it a point to get together MUCH more often. Abigail and I would LOVE that!! 🙂

  2. amaya says:

    Sad indeed! Your parents will be missed and your life will be drastically different. But change is good! New and wonderful doors always seem to open to those that are receptive (Easier said than done, right??)…. And fortunately you still have family near and in the Bay Area and a wonderful network of friends who all would love the opportunity to BABYSIT!…. Not QUITE the same, I know, but we’re here for yous. We love you Ali and support you in this difficult transition. Mwah, mwah, mwah (!) to you, Abby, Trav and your parents!!!

    • 7x7xMommy says:

      Thanks Amaya, we all appreciate it and we’ll definitely take you up on the babysitting offer!!! 🙂 haha…in all seriousness, it’s going to be a big change but we’ll make it work! 🙂

  3. Daddio says:

    I am reading this on the road in eastern Arizona… And thought about telling Kiki to turn around. You can’t imagine how much we love all of you. Kiki is driving right now, so I want her to read this herself first hand (along w/ the pics)… So expect some squirting later.
    Love you, Gappy

    • 7x7xMommy says:

      Hi Daddio…thanks so much for your comment (while on the road…I’m impressed!). 🙂 We love you guys and as much as we would have loved for you to turn around, we know we’ll be seeing you in a matter of weeks. It’ll make our visits that much more special. Love you guys…and DRIVE SAFE!!! PS – Abby says hi to Belle

  4. Ciara says:

    Oh my goodness what a great, honest post – it sounds like you have an amazing family. We live across the country from both sets of grandparents and I so wish they were closer. But Skype helps, and we visit as often as we can.. Hang in there – it is definitely tough sometimes, but you seem like such a strong mama I think you somehow will figure out a new normal..

    • 7x7xMommy says:

      Thank you so much for the encouragement, Ciara! I really appreciate it. It’s nice to hear from other families who live cross country and make it work as best they can. 🙂 Now I need to sign up for Skype…I’ve (believe it or not) never used it!!

  1. April 3, 2012

    […] Saying “goodbye for now” to Kiki & Gappy means there will be many changes in our lives.  One of the changes will be the fact that I need to seek out more activities (not to mention daytime friends for both myself and Abby).  Our apartment is shrinking by the day and we will no longer have the outlet of heading over to their place to let Abby run around and chase Belle. […]

  2. August 5, 2013

    […] day one, these two have had a special relationship. They’ve shared laughs, they’ve shared beds, and they’ve even shared food.  […]

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