Ramblings of a Singleton was kind enough to ask me back as a Guest Blogger and I must say, I’m quite excited to share this Post with you…
How many of you had a crush on someone you thought you’d never get over?
How many of you went to great lengths to impress your crush?
And how many of you can look back on that past crush and say to yourself, “What on EARTH was I thinking?”
Read this and have a laugh with (and at) me…
A Long Lost Love Letter…From a 13 Year Old
Every once in a while you run across something that paints the perfect picture of what your childhood was like (and what a serious dork you were). For me, that picture consisted of a unique ability to share my feelings with a stranger, an interesting choice in stationary, and an absolutely crazy crush. Let me explain…
Back in August I found a letter in my stationary box (yes, I have a stationary box).
The letter was dated July 23rd, 1997. It was handwritten. And it featured three different colored pens on blue-lined stationary with bears holding tea cups. That combination was sure to catch Taylor’s eye…
I was 13. Just turned 13 (which makes me feel a little bit better about the quality of this letter). 13 years old and crushing so hard over a boy I had never met. A boy I never would meet.
Crushing so hard over a boy who had hair as long as mine. Hair as blonde as mine. And who sang songs with lyrics that didn’t even make sense…
What does “MmmBop” mean, anyway?
It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I was crushing so hard that I couldn’t bring myself to send my 5 page hand written letter to the boy of my dreams, Taylor Hanson.
In retrospect, I’m quite glad I didn’t send it. What an embarrassment that would have been.
Not only was I desperate…I was pathetic! More importantly, however, I wouldn’t have been able to make fun of myself now…13 years later…in such vividly accurate detail.
I actually found the letter when my husband and I were moving and attempting to organize all our crap. I read it to him. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I read it to him after he chose to marry me. I felt my skin tingle and face turn a bright shade of red when I said out loud…
“I listen to your CD about 50 times a day, literally! I don’t call it obsessive, I just like it a lot!”
Pretty sure my husband might have reconsidered proposing had I shared this letter before he put a ring on my finger. Pretty sure he still thinks I’m crazy. But since it was too late to turn back, I bravely continued sharing my letter…
“I also love the clothes that you wear. One time I went to the mall, and I went into Pacific Sunwear, and I saw a shirt that looks exactly the same as one of yours! The one that’s maroon and has two stripes down the side! I bought it! My cousin who’s visiting right now thinks I look the same as you!”
Pretty sure I would have thought I was crazy too. And let’s be honest – I was in complete denial at the age of 13 – “I don’t call it obsessive…” – I obviously knew somewhere deep down that I was being a complete and utter lunatic. Realizing that not much had changed in 13 years, I continued sharing…
“One time I walkinged into Walgreens w/my cousine, and I walked right over to the magazines to see if you were in any of them. Of course you were.”
You can’t make this stuff up.
The best part is that after professing my love, telling him I dressed like him, and asking him how he liked being home schooled (no joke), I proceeded to tell him how amazing I thought I was…and I went one step further by showcasing my brother’s talents just in case it would seal the deal…
“I am very good at basketball, volleyball and soccer! Do you play any sports, and how tall are you? I’m 5’9.” You’ll probably see me some day on TV playing Pro basketball, and you’ll definitely see my brother! You’ll hear his name, Joe Schmo, and he’s 6’5”!”
So much for all of that.
In my final attempts to capture his attention and appeal to his humanity (or something like that…pretty sure it was me thinking I was coming across non-stalker-ish), I asked him the following question:
“Do you go out of your house very often, or do you get malled by people? It must be hard being popular!”
How ‘bout that spelling of mauled?
It was a crush. A huge crush at that. And I know exactly why I didn’t send the letter…I was afraid of getting crushed! I was afraid I’d never hear from him. Afraid he’d never write back after I ended the letter with these final thoughts…
“Oh, yeah, if you ever read this letter, would you please write back, and answer my questions!? Also, write by hand, and please sign your name at the end like I will do. Hope to get a letter back, and better yet, meet you!”
Gosh, I feel bad for myself.
But the bottom line is that I really put myself out there. Really went out on a limb. Really made myself vulnerable. And at the end of the day, I couldn’t handle the thought of being rejected by my crush.
And that’s OK…because now I have this amazing letter to treasure forever and I will NEVER forget about the greatest (and craziest) crush of my life, Taylor Hanson.